Hey there, queens of resilience! Your resident wellbeing coach here, tackling a topic that hit a nerve in my recent poll about asking for help in our Facebook Group, Joyful Balance Circle (www.facebook.com/groups/joyfulbalancecircle). Buckle up, because here's the shocker – 100% of you amazing women said it's harder to say those three little words than "I'm sorry" or even a heartfelt "I love you." Can you believe it?
Why does a simple phrase feel like reaching for the moon and the sun at the same time, especially for us phenomenal women in the glorious, whirlwind years of midlife?
The answer might sting a bit. It's not because we're afraid to admit we're lost or wrong (though, let's be honest, those are tough ones to admit also). Often, it boils down to two sneaky gremlins whispering in our ears: people-pleasing and that pesky imposter syndrome. We spend our days juggling everything, making sure everyone else is okay, never wanting to cause a single ripple. Remember that time our best friend needed a shoulder to cry on, and we were there in a heartbeat? Yeah, that fierce compassion we pour out on others? We deserve it too ladies! Remember when a relative had a health scare and you organized meals so their family will be taken care of? Did you think badly about those people asking for help? NO! And, do you know what??? They aren't thinking negatively about your request for help either.
But here's the truth bomb: constantly navigating life blindfolded and overloaded isn't some kind of superhero badge – it's a recipe for burnout. We can't pour from an empty cup, ladies. We need to ditch the cape and embrace the power of asking for help. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength, of knowing your limits, and valuing yourself enough to say, "Hey, I need a hand here!"
Here's the even bigger secret: Asking for help isn't just good for you, it's like giving your relationships a superpower boost! Think about it. When life throws curveballs – illness, crazy deadlines, the whole shebang – the people who care about us want to help. The thing is, they often feel helpless standing on the sidelines. Maybe they don't know what you need exactly. Here's the magic: by asking for help, you give them the chance to show their love and support in a tangible way. It deepens your connection in a few beautiful ways:
You show trust: By letting someone in and saying, "I need you," you open the door to a deeper level of intimacy. It shows you value their presence and believe in their ability to help.
They feel valued: When you allow someone to help, you're essentially saying, "Your skills and time are important to me." This fosters a sense of mutual respect and strengthens the bond.
You create a cycle of giving and receiving: Helping others feels good, and by letting someone support you, you open the door for them to experience that joy. This creates a beautiful back-and-forth dynamic in your relationships.
5 Ways to Reach for the Stars (Together):
Help Isn't a Four-Letter Word, It's a Power Move: Reframe "help" as collaboration. Needing help doesn't make you less capable, it makes you smart! Sharing the load creates a team that conquers mountains, not just molehills.
Baby Steps, Big Wins: Don't try to tackle Mount Everest right off the bat. Start small. Delegate a chore at home, ask a colleague for clarification on a project. These micro-victories build confidence in both asking and receiving help, paving the way for bigger wins.
Specificity is Your Superpower: The clearer you are about what you need, the easier it is for someone to jump in and be your hero. "Can you grab milk on your way home?" is way more helpful (and less likely to lead to oat milk confusion) than a vague "I'm drowning!"
You Got My Back, I Got Yours: This is all about building a support system that rocks! When you ask for help, offer to return the favor in the future. It creates a beautiful cycle of reciprocity, where everyone thrives.
Celebrate Your Strength: Asking for help is badass, my friend! It shows self-awareness and a deep respect for your own wellbeing. You're not admitting defeat, you're taking charge of your happiness.
Here's the bottom line, gorgeous souls: we're all on this beautiful, messy, magnificent journey together. Let's smash those people-pleasing chains and embrace the power of asking for help. It's not a sign of weakness – it's the key to unlocking a happier, healthier you, and strengthening the amazing relationships that light up your life.
And guess what? I'm right there with you, still working on that myself!
So, I'm asking you for help. Let's help each other by keeping us accountable. Stop the mind games with yourself, reduce your stress and reach out when you need help. If you'd like to discuss more about this, feel free to join our Facebook Group, Joyful Balance Circle (www.facebook.com/groups/joyfulbalancecircle.com) or click the button below.
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